Oh, the sweet anticipation of a new year, a fresh start, a clean slate.
Historically, my resolutions each year were to drink less, smoke less, spend less, and cuss less. To save more, go to church more, be more, and love more. I resolved each year that I would do better.
And I failed.
Every. Single. Time.
Oh, I did fine for about the first 24 – 48 hours. Until I got over my new year’s hangover, and found myself once again with a drink in one hand and a smoke in the other spending money on booze and tobacco and cute clothes, shoes, and handbags to look the part I was so desperately trying to play. Missing the mark once again and trying to convince myself it never really mattered in the first place.
Eventually, I stopped making resolutions all together. I mean, good grief, why set myself up for failure? Because each year, the anticipation of “new” began to tarnish quickly and that fresh start was short lived. The clean slate was only an illusion, because all of those things I wanted to erase continued to eat away at my soul.
As I read the words I have written above, my heart aches for the lonely soul that was me. Tears leak from my eyes as I remember how it felt to be lost. The constant ache in my heart. The all consuming pursuit of something that always seemed just out of reach. Like a hamster on a wheel, running, running, running and getting nowhere.
I finally found what I was looking for all those years. And it has forever changed me.
I no longer dedicate my life pursuing the temporary things of this world. When the new year comes around, I find myself grateful for another year and in awe of the endless possibilities the new year will bring. My lonely soul has found it’s perfect mate. My wayward spirit has found a home and it wanders no longer through darkness.
I have found grace and forgiveness.
And I find myself still in awe that the God of all creation would love me enough to save me from myself.
And I find myself eternally grateful He did.
I don’t know what your life looks like. I don’t know your struggles. But I know God does. And He is the answer.
Every. Single. Time.
“…….I ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!” Ephesians 1:17-19 (the MSG)
Father God, thank you for salvation, redemption, grace, and forgiveness. Thank you that you make this available to all who come to you believing. I believe Lord, that you are who you say you are and I thank you for your sacrifice that I may live. Thank you that I am not who I was and that you have given my life hope and purpose. I pray you will use these words I have written today to help heal the broken and bring you glory. You alone are worthy. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.